If you only knew how many blogs I have written in my head since May 12. My resistance to blogging has not been due to a lack of words. I have a lot of words. My resistance to blogging is because I have a lot of words. So many words.
Blogging requires a boldness to put out there what you really think, feel, dream, and imagine. And while I'm happy to sit across from anyone and share my streaming thoughts in most of those categories, it has been difficult for me to lay myself bare to those eyes across the deep dark space of the internet who don't know me, don't know my heart, my intentions, my motives for sharing ... and could potentially be looking for a fight. I read the comments people write to both the obscure and the well-known bloggers in the Christianity sphere, and they are not pretty. In fact, it's often downright scary what Christian people will say to other Christian people. No wonder the world things we are full of ... it.
And here is the real rub: I'm not all that concerned about the crazies who just want to fight and sling the Holy Word of God at me to prove points. I'm concerned about what crazy thing I WILL do or say in response. I love a good debate. Just ask my husband. The Lord has chiseled, shaped, and pruned my voracious appetite for a good debate. I'm not afraid of other people, I'm afraid of me. But this is where I am, in this slice of culture with all its technological possibilities and constraints, so it's with a bit of grin that I'm determining to just be more consistent and to predetermine to turn away wrath (should it come!) with kinds words.
To kick off this new determination along with this new year, the Lord has nudged me to land on one word as an overall theme for this year. I excitedly prayed and waited to hear what my awesome word was to be; you know, something really positive like overflow ore breakthrough. But no. With great clarity I know my word for this year is LISTEN.
A few years ago, I received a very accurate word from the Lord about getting out of my head and releasing my penchant for overthinking everything. In the context of the Word, it was dealing with how I over thought the Word as I studied it. It was a time in my life when I had been hit with significant fatigue in every area, and the message identified the fatigue and the answer to it. It was a corrective Word calling me to LISTEN and hone my ability to discern what the Lord is saying, verses diagraming the Word to figure it all out. The correction was rounded out with the benefits the Lord had for me if I would drop from my mental shenanigans and slip into a spiritual rhythm of listening.
I find myself and the ministry on the edge of something, and I'm not going to know what, who, when, where or why if I don't listen. This includes listening to my husband, my kids, and my friends. Listening to my advisors, and those the Lord brings across my path. It's not a slowing down as much as it is a letting go. A letting go of The Things; the distractions which may be good things but not the necessary things.
What about you? I'd love to hear what one word the Lord is speaking into your life for this year!